I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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