Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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