Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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