My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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