the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
