Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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