True but thats because hes a fetus.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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