Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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