You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
