it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My balls are so social today.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
