we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I need to calm my uterus...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
