She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
