Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
