Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
