honey bunches of taint.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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