You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
