I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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