just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
