with your own penis?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
