we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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