no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
