idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
