I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
