I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
