honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
