Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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