I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
