I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
