It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
