Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
