Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
