I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
