Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do you remember whose house we're in?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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