I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
