theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
