we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Even my vagina gasped.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
