I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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