she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
