FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
