I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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