Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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