What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
