I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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