I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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