Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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