New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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