I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
