dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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