Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
