yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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