you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
