He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My life is pants optional.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
