Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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